And this is okay! We’re taught that “on days like this, we should only feel happiness and joy.” We’re not exactly taught to be comfortable with the sadness, the frustration. Please know, there’s no right or wrong way to feel. What you’re feeling makes total sense! It makes sense based on your experiences, your relationships, your past memories and associations, and what’s going on right now in the moment.
What’s more, just because you feel sadness or guilt, or any other “negative” feeling, doesn’t mean this invalidates the love you feel for your father or your family. You can hold both feelings at one time- one does not invalidate the other.
Let’s suffice it to say, family is complicated. And our feelings make sense. When we deny our feelings, saying we “shouldn’t feel that way,” bringing up guilt for feeling the way we feel, we only make these feelings more powerful and intensify our suffering.
So actually feel the feelings– don’t turn to food and eat them away. Those feelings are telling you something important, as uncomfortable as they are. Sadness could be telling you that you deeply care about a person, while guilt could be saying that you value a relationship, and you want to work to better that relationship in the future.
Let your feelings be your guide, not the enemy. This Father’s day, approach your emotions with curiosity and compassion.
Sending you all the love!
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