In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), you would not be surprised to hear your therapist say “If you went and robbed a bank, I would have to assume there was a really good reason why!”
This is not about morals, good food and bad foods, right decisions and wrong decisions – this is about what is functional and what makes the most sense for your life.
So let’s get away from robbing banks and talk about your relationship with food. If you’re breaking up with sugar, there’s a really good reason why. And if there’s not…then why are you doing it? Most people who come by this approach to break up with sugar are seeking to heal their relationship with food in one way or another. They may have dealt with their fair share of diet trauma or drama, or maybe their finding that food is ruling their life or that binging is causing them shame, sadness, and distress. Whatever the reason, there’s a really good reason why.
And that said, breaking up with sugar can bring so much peace, decrease food cravings, and help to create a big beautiful life. Why is it then that so many of us get stuck in the rut of focusing on deprivation and what we’re giving up when there is so much to gain?
Here’s the truth- this usually happens when we focus on comparisons and wishing things were different. That might sound like “my friend can eat sugar. It’s not fair that I can’t” and “Life should be different- I shouldn’t have to deal with this problem.”
When we choose to direct our focus to what we are gaining in our life and how we are being nourished and nurtured, we are going against our natural inclination to focus on the negative (you can read more about our negative bias here). And the more we practice re-routing our thinking to what we have to gain, the more motivated and nourished we become. Sometimes, (and especially when you are first practicing this skill) you’ll have to notice and redirect your thoughts many times a day. That’s totally normal. But with time, you’ll thoughts will start to gravitate towards what you have to gain and what’s in the big beautiful life that awaits you with ease.
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