A life of diet drama and trauma can certainly do a number to our self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence. When we behave in harmful and unloving ways, we send the message to ourselves that we are not worth being treated with compassion and respect.
Not only are we the victim of this self-harming diet behavior, but we are also the abuser. We deprive our body of nourishment; we tell it it’s ugly and defective; we behave in erratic and inconsistent ways, never letting our body get too comfortable.
It’s likely that reflecting on this brings up all the feelings- feelings of sadness, disappointment… maybe guilt or shame. These feelings are telling you something- this way of treating your body and self does not line up with your values and inner wisdom. It’s time to do something about that.
When you have decided that you want better for yourself, one of the first steps you can do is make reparations to yourself.
It’s the same thing you might do after getting in a fight with a loved one. You say something like, I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I treated you with disrespect. I was doing the best I could, and I commit to doing better next time.
What do your reparations to your body and self sound like? Take some time to reflect and say it aloud to yourself.
Starting here, in a place of making reparations, is setting the groundwork for a new, loving relationship with food.