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What We Hold Onto Keeps Us Held Up

Molly sits down with Laura, a longtime member of the Breaking Up with Sugar Facebook community, to share her experience posting about her journey for 100 consecutive days. She realized through the process that there’s actually a much more powerful way to achieve her goals, and it has nothing to do with her strong desire to moderate her cravings nor with the willingness to “challenge” herself to overcome those cravings. In fact, she learned that the ideal of moderation and the concept of challenging oneself may be doing more harm than good in the long-term.

Laura struggled with an eating disorder in her 20s which led to a binge-restrict cycle that lasted for the next two decades, up until she came across the Breaking Up with Sugar community. All that time, a lot of money was spent at bulk food stores, specifically in the candy aisle. Laura often skipped breakfast, had a pauper’s lunch, and ended up devouring a boatload of sweets for dinner. It eventually dawned on her that she was using sugar as a coping mechanism in order to numb herself to the various challenges and pressures she faced throughout her career as an athlete.

As the Covid-19 pandemic rolled around, Laura became determined to change her behaviors. However, unable to find a suitable support community, she jumped from group to group in an attempt to get her 0eating disorder under control. Unfortunately, her perfectionist mindset prevented her from committing to any of the programs she was offered. And it didn’t help that the majority of the nutrition plans she was encouraged to follow were incredibly restrictive, labeling foods as “good” or “bad”, and did not take lifestyle and preferences into account.

Molly and Laura discuss the blinders that most people tend to put on themselves, whether or not they realize it, when they decide to go all-in on our wellness journey. Oftentimes we conflate our desire to moderate our cravings with our actual ability to do so, and we end up doing a “fake all-in”, ultimately disappointing ourselves in the end. In fact, moderation is better as a tool in your kit along your path to breaking up with sugar, rather than the endpoint. It’s so much more important to be gentle, mindful, and loving with yourself, and to take things as slowly as you need to. Taking that pressure off of yourself, says Molly, will piss your addiction off like nobody’s business.

Episode Quotes:

●  “I was in a state of denial: that I wasn’t a sugar addict and that I could moderate.” – Laura

●  “The more of an endpoint you give yourself, the more heightened your sense of urgency becomes.” – Molly Carmel

●  “I don’t like the words ‘challenge’ and ‘healing’ in the same sentence. I don’t think you should be challenging yourself more. I think you should be healing yourself more.” – Molly Carmel

Key Highlights:

●  Laura’s battle with bulimia

●  How perfectionism prevented Laura from overcoming her sugar addiction

●  The difference between wanting to moderate and actually being able to moderate

●  How perfectionism sneaks up on you and sabotages your progress

●  The power of getting clear on how you want freedom from addiction to feel

●  Making moderation a tool rather than an endpoint

●  Being authentic and going on a journey of the heart rather than of the mind

About Molly Carmel

Molly is a leading addiction and eating disorder therapist and the founder of the Beacon Program, which offers individual and group solutions to help people break free from their destructive relationships with food and dieting. She is also the author of ‘Breaking up with Sugar’ and the host of ‘What You’re Craving’ Podcast.

Connect with Molly:

Want to hang with me? ME TOO! Here are all the ways –

instenSati on Feb 9 and 26th and Fireside: LOVE YOURSELF on feb 15 – easy sign up at https://mollycarmel.com

OWN YOUR WORTH EXPERIENCE – March 30 and April 1 – https://ownyourworthexperience.com – going to be AMAZING

There are also LOTS of other offerings – Fireside chats, intenSati classes all on mollycarmel.com – including February’s LOVING YOURSELF Fireside on Feb 15!

You can also purchase the Breaking Up with Sugar course here: mollycarmel.com/buws

Join my mailing list for a free mini masterclass: mollycarmel.com/minimasterclass

Become a part of the Breaking Up with Sugar FB Group: facebook.com/groups/buwsbook

Come hang with me on social media!!

IG (I love a DM!): @mollycarmel

YouTube: Molly Carmel

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